The diamond in the rough...

I saw two new movies last week from two different ends of the movie spectrum. The first is like the black velvet that makes the diamond that much more brilliant. Let us first discuss that black velvet...

G.I. Joe: Rise of Quaid

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 38%

My Score: 3/10

I'm sorry I have to address this one first. It was such a bad one! And yes, the title is really "Rise of Cobra," but Dennis Quaid played a much more pivotal role for my movie experience than Cobra did! I laughed my tuckus off every time he was on screen! He's such a goof, and I refuse to take him seriously! He provided infinitely more comedic relief than Marlon Wayans, who was just about as funny as I expected he would be. No, wait, I'd like to correct that. Despite my dismally low expectations for him, he somehow managed to disappoint me.

Allow me to provide an example. As he's chasing a bad guy in his Master Chief suit, all the while dodging missiles like an Autobot, Wayans chases Stormshadow into the kitchen of some random office building. In a desperate attempt to flee, the villain throws a pot of hot tomato sauce all over Marlon Wayans' helmet, rendering him temporarily but deliciously blind. When Wayans reunites with his purely scientifically-oriented (and therefore initially not believing in emotions) love interest, she asks him, "Is that blood?" In order to avoid an outrageously long, horrific, and otherwise embarrassing story, Wayans simply replies, "Tomato sauce. Don't ask!" All I can say is, thank goodness for Dennis Quaid!

Now, G.I. Joe does get some props, for its imagination. The action sequences had a lot of special effects, and had some cool ideas, but absolutely nothing in the entire film is believable. Nothing! It starts with Christopher Eccleston introducing this ridiculously dangerous "nano-bot" weapon, with the power to eat through any material and even destroy an entire city unless deactivated, to the UN, and absolutely no one objects. NO ONE! Not a single person points out the potential catastrophic consequences of such a super weapon. The only reaction, other than awe, is that Dennis Quaid leans forward slightly in his seat and seems to be thinking about something. None of the CG effects are even remotely convincing, and the technology is completely bonkers! Yes, I just said bonkers! I can't think of any other adjective to appropriately describe it. The events are supposed to take place in the 'near future,' but it's all so ludicrously beyond what we currently have!

Now, I don't want to leave you with the impression that you shouldn't see this film. By all means, with the right people, G.I. Joe's a riot! I enjoyed myself immensely! The laughs just kept on coming, but not as the filmmakers intended. Nothing, however, can top the amazingly appropriate brief cameo. If you're going to see this movie and you don't want to spoil the surprise then just wait and see. For anyone else, click here, and your reaction will be something like, "Oh yeah, I could see him appearing in this!" And now, for the diamond...

District 9

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 88%

My Score: 10/10

That's right, folks, I gave District 9 a ten out of ten! It was THAT good! I was excited from the moment I saw the first trailer several months ago, and from then on, my excitement continued to increase. So, I had really high expectations when I finally saw it, and the film only exceeded them! It was SO GOOD!

The premise for District 9 is that an enormous alien ship arrived on Earth, hovering several hundred meters above the ground, about 20 years ago, and were for some reason unable to leave. The ship stopped above Johannesburg, South Africa. Eventually, the aliens were "rescued" from the starving conditions on the ship, and were integrated with the human population below, until tensions grew to violence, and the aliens were forced into a specific area within the city. So, the story starts 20 years after that, with the alien presence no longer new and novel. In fact, there's no gradual build-up to a dramatic reveal of the aliens at all, rather they're present from the beginning and filmed naturally, as if they're just people on news footage. The film was made documentary-style, with interviews from various residents of South Africa, and has that handheld, slightly grainy look throughout.

The special effects are completely flawless! The aliens are so cool-looking, and they really look like they could actually be there! I don't know if they were all done completely CG, or if some of it was practical, but it all looks real. The action keeps you extremely interested to whole time, not knowing what will happen next. This is lead actor Sharlto Copley's first role ever, and he's so good! He plays a rather goofy South African guy who's somewhat of a leader in the company that, to some extent, governs the aliens.

One of the most impressive things about District 9 is that it only had a $30 million budget! I mean, yeah, that is a rather hefty sum of money, and I wouldn't consider it small if someone just handed it to me on the street, but comparatively speaking, that's a small budget! It made the first-time director, Neill Blomkamp, get very creative in order to tell the story he envisioned, and to do it well. The thing is, the film isn't impressive simply because it had such a small budget. The effects don't look spectacular only considering how much money they had to do them. It holds up to any other movie, even those effect-crazy blockbusters that have all the money and big names in the world. I can't think of how this film could have been made better, hence the ten out of ten. Just as a warning, though, the violence is quite intense, and there is a slew of profanity. The good thing is that most of the time, the f-bomb sounds more like "fook" with that crazy South African accent. Go see it!

2009 Movies I've Seen in the Theatre

There should be no question as to what this post is about after that rather descriptive title. Please, pardon the British spelling of "theater;" I often can't help myself. In case you don't understand the title, I'll be trying to recount all the movies I've seen in the theater since I got home. These will be mini reviews to catch up to present day. As far as I can tell, the next movie I'll be seeing in the theater is District 9, so I want to be up-to-date by then. I'm going this way!

Quantum of Solace

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 65%

My Score: 8/10

First, I'd like to make a note that Casino Royale was the last movie I saw in a theater before I left for Hungary, while Quantum of Solace (the sequel) was first one I saw after Hungary. Pretty cool timing, eh? You're now intillectually a bit richer for knowing this bit of trivia. Anywho, I absolutely loved Casino Royale when I saw that years ago, and I bought the DVD since then. It's easily my favorite Bond film (I've only seen a couple of the ones with Pierce Brosnan)--an overall solid film. It made a great impression and quite successfully rebooted the Bond series. Quantum, however, didn't seem to fill the sizable shoes left by its predecessor.


If a sweet action flick is what you want, Quantum of Solace is sure to satisfy. It is absolutely packed full with awesome action sequences, including foot, car, boat, and even air chases! This film continued that gritty, rough-around-the-edges style of action that I loved in the first film. While it was overall pretty similar to Casino Royale, it simply didn't leave such a significant impression with me. Daniel Craig did a great job again, as did the other actors, but apart from its action, it just didn't leave me with anything new. Part of what made Casino so great was that it really stood out from the other Bond films. Now, that isn't to say this is the Mission: Impossible series' MI 2, but I felt like it didn't quite take the series much further. Good movie, though. Worth at least renting, likely even buying.


Okay, I'll try to do smaller reviews of the rest...

Coraline

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 88%
My Score: 8.5/10

I thoroughly enjoyed this one. It was directed by Henry Selick, who directed Nightmare Before Christmas (... no, it wasn't Tim Burton! Burton wrote and produced Nightmare). The animation was really cool, and the story was great, too. I laughed quite a bit at the kinda odd humor. Now, overall, I would say it's as good as Nightmare, but the main thing missing was Danny Elfman's amazing music. That's not to say the music wasn't good, but it wasn't as memorable or impactful as Nightmare's.


All in all, I would strongly recommend adding it to your movie collection. Also, I would recommend getting the edition that comes in 3D, as the 3D animation was done very well. Blu-ray would probably be considerably better, if possible.

Monsters Vs. Aliens

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 72%

My Score: 7.5/10

This movie was pretty much exactly what I expected: a cool, CG-animated comedy with lots of laughs and a somewhat acceptable storyline. With voices like Seth Rogen, Will Arnett, and Hugh Laurie, it definitely delivered on the laughs! It was quite funny throughout the film, and they used the 3D animation pretty well. Like I expected, the storyline was somewhat acceptable, but in a movie like this, who cares? You don't go to see a movie like this expecting something Pixar would deliver; you go to laugh and enjoy the cool 3D effects! And, in this respect, it pulled through. I'm not sure it's worth buying, but definitely worth a rental.

Terminator: Salvation

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 33%

My Score: 7/10

Okay, as flawed as this film was, don't take Rotten Tomatoes' word that it was twice as bad as Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (RT gave that one a 70%!). While it had its share of plotholes and story weaknesses, it was still very enjoyable. As far as story weaknesses are concerned, it was the lack of attention given to the main character, Marcus, played by Sam Worthington, that really hurt the film. Apparently, John Connor's role, played by Christian Bale, was originally supposed to be much smaller, and by devoting more story to him, they compromised the potential progression of Marcus.


Despite these (and many other) flaws, it was a lot of fun to watch. The action scenes were incredible and very well dispersed throughout the film. As far as the Terminator series is concerned, I watched the first three movies the same week I saw Salvation and thereby noticed a whole bunch of little hints and references I probably wouldn't have, otherwise. It really felt like a Terminator film. So, I recommend at least renting it. I'll probably even buy it!

Up

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 97%

My Score: 9.5/10

As can be expected from anything Pixar puts out, Up was phenominal. It offered a completely original storyline with amazing animation. The film follows an old man on his last great adventure of his life, along with many friends he makes along the way. Unlike many other 3D animated movies of its kind, it didn't use any "gag 3D." In other words, the 3D animation simply enhanced the images you saw, instead shoving three-dimensional objects in your face to try and inpress you (though that kind of 3D has its place and isn't always a bad thing). The characters were very memorable, as well as hilarious! I never had any idea what was going to happen next as the story kept taking interesting turns. The way they told his life story was very interesting and touching. It was very great movie--definitely one to own.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 20%

My Score: 5/10

Hmm, I'm not quite sure what to say about this one. It was all over the place! On one hand, the action was so mindblowingly awesome, but on the other, everything else was so amazingly crappy! I've heard this movie explained as "the first Transformers times ten in every way." Ten times the Bayhem, ten times the robots, ten times the ridiculous parents, ten times the Megan Fox, ten times the attempt at plot; everything! There are too many plotholes to count, littered throughout the "film." It raises lots of questions when you think about it. For instance, it opens with a scene in which the Autobots, along with the humans, are hunting down and brutally murdering the hiding, docile Deceptacons, who are just minding their own business--for no apparent reason! There's even a "robot heaven" at one point! It's so outrageous!!!

Now, the only reason this movie get's any number out of 10 is the action. In-freakin-credible! The first time I watched it (yes, unfortunately, that does imply I watched it on a subsequent occasion), I was giggling throughout every action scene! It was so awesome! There was so much robot fighting, and it was done so well! I know what you're thinking--This is the part when you're gonna tell us it's not even worth renting. Wrong! I'm gonna buy it on Blu-ray. Why? Because I wanna see all that fighting again and again, without having to see the rest of it! At least rent it, but you may want to buy it just for that!

Year One

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 16%

My Score: 5/10

Not much to say about this one. As you can probably guess, it's not a very good movie. It's one of those movies that just tries hard enough to make you laugh so that you'll forget the other necessary components of a good film. Now, it was very funny. I laughed quite a bit, after the first half hour or so. If you've seen the trailers ad commercials, you've seen the first half hour of the film, pretty much. After that, though, it got...better? Well, it had stuff I hadn't seen already. I would say this is worth a rental if you like Jack Black and/or Michael Cera. It's got a lot of funny names (David Cross, Paul Rudd, etc.), but it's kinda hit-and-miss. I would certainly never buy this one.

Moon

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 90%

My Score: 9/10

Moon was such a fantastic film! I loved it so much. As a bit of a warning, it is very slow-paced, so if you easily get bored, this isn't for you. The story was very original and engaging. I really liked the music, too, which greatly enriches the storytelling. Sam Rockwell's performance was just about perfect. Basically, he's on a moon facility, harvesting a helium3 fuel. He's been there for just about 3 years, and he's got two weeks left before he can come home. Things start to go awry, though, and you're left guessing what's going on the whole time. I strongly recommend it.

AND THAT'S ALL SHE WROTE!

Post #1 - The Hurt Locker

Well, here goes my first post on this blog. Welcome to The Christophilm Blog. To be honest, I never thought I'd have my own blog until I'm married, but here I am anyway! Since I got back from my mission at the end of last year, I've watched A LOT of movies. I watched a lot before my mission as well, but I really kicked it into overdrive this year. With the help of friends and family, Netflix, and an extremely easy job, I've probably seen around 300 movies since getting back from Hungary! Anyway, I'd like to start writing about those movies and any new ones I see. I'm not sure who will care about what I think of these movies, seeing as I'm no professional critic or nuffin', but I hope I can provide some weighty insight.

The Hurt Locker
Rotten Tomatoes score - 98%
My Score - 9/10



So, my first post will be about the most recent film I saw, The Hurt Locker. For a synopsis, visit the main site. Basically, it is a war movie that follows an American bomb-defusal squad in 2004 Iraq. It is rated R for "war violence and language." This is because the filmmakers went for a very gritty, realistic effect, which includes all the blood and f-bombs and "shnikies" that go with that. In fact, there were probably about 5 times more f-bombs than Iraqi bombs! I'm sorry, I had to.

I really enjoyed the film. It was so different than anything else I've seen, which is likely why it's getting such great reviews. Now, I tend to not predict things when I watch movies. I don't know if I'm just too stupid and gullible, or what, but I like to think I have the ability to just switch off the ol' noggin and enjoy the ride. Therefore, when people tell me they saw things coming, or they guessed the end from the beginning, I just kinda chuckle to myself and think, "Hmm, I definitely didn't!" That said, I still have a sense of film formulas (filmulas?), and how movies often progress. The Hurt Locker, however, doesn't really fit into anything I've seen. They often shake things up (or in this case blow things up) to remind you that you haven't seen this before. The suspense is handled masterfully. The filmmakers put you on the edge of your seat as long as they can by drawing out the action scenes and by putting you right there in the action. I found myself exhaling quite loudly when the scenes finally ended!

It's hard for me to say that the film provides a realistic look into the Iraqi war, seeing as I've never experienced anything like that, but it really does feel accurate. The movie looks at how the war affects the soldiers externally as well as internally. It opens with a quote that, among other things, says, "War is a drug," and then focuses on how this applies to the main character, Will James (Jeremy Renner), throughout the film. We see how he flourishes in the heat of combat, how he is, in fact, rather addicted to the rush, and how that affects those around him.

To sometimes break up the rather serious nature of the film, there are many funny moments, often provided by Jeremy Renner's character. He plays a really cocky but funny guy, who never really seems to take things seriously. Unfortunately, I felt like I had already seen most of the funny parts in the trailer, which lessened the impact when I was watching the movie. If you have seen the trailer, though, there are still many great parts left in the movie, so don't worry.

Now, at this point, you're probably wondering, "Wait a minute, Chris! You gave this movie a less-than-perfect score of 9 out of 10, yet you haven't mentioned a single negative point! What's the deal? I mean, are you even...etc." Jeez, hold your horses, and I'll explain! Well, though I can't really come up with a solid aspect of the movie to criticize, it simply isn't a movie I would watch over and over again. In other words, I didn't love it. True, I don't see how they could have done it better, but that doesn't make it one of my all-time favorites. There, you happy? Get off my back, already!

Well, that's that. If you have any questions about the film, my review, or about me personally, please leave a comment. If you've already seen The Hurt Locker, tell me what you liked or didn't like about it. Well, have a day!

B-t-dubs, if you're curious, click here!